The SGC Newsletter
by M.Bowen
Summary: Daniel is on his way to writing and publishing the base's first newsletter. Who knew it would be such hard work?
1. Email Sent

From: JacksonD(at)sgc.mil 

To: OneillJ(at)sgc.mil, CarterS(at)sgc.mil, Tealc(at)sgc.mil, HammondG(at)sgc.mil, FraiserJ(at)sgc.mil, onlinebulletin(at)sgc.mil

Subject: Our First Base Publication?

Message:

Hi All!

This is Daniel. I have talked the idea over with General Hammond and he has approved the idea of a base newsletter. It would be e-mailed to anyone who wants it.

My ideas to put in this newsletter:

The Betting Pools

Mission Schedules

Injuries List

Announcements

The Betting Pools would be updated every time the newsletter was published and any winners would be announced in a section just under current bets.

General Hammond has agreed to give me tentative mission schedules for each month. This section will include: which team is going on the mission, where they are going, why they are going and a brief description of the planet.

Dr. Janet Fraiser has agreed to let me see any people who have been hurt on a mission. I am allowed to put their name in the Injuries List if the person agrees to it.

Announcements are just that, announcements. Anything miscellaneous that anyone would like to put in here. Promotions, weddings, birth, birthday announcements are perfect examples of announcements I would put in here.

I wanted to know how many people would be interested in this newsletter. I am open to all ideas and will run them by General Hammond if I like them.

Thank you for your time,

Dr. Daniel Jackson

Author's Note: I have a couple things for this one.

1. The ending 'mil' means Military. I searched it on the Internet in the effort to make this right.

2. This whole thing is based on my idea that Daniel is writing a newsletter for the base. He gets his information from General Hammond and Dr. Janet Fraiser.

3. All the e-mail addresses are fake. I'm repeating my self. It's based on the idea that Sam (or another smart person) set up an e-mail service for base personnel. The last name, fist initial thing I got from the school I go to. We have school e-mail accounts and they are like that, except it has our graduation year in front of all that. The last address is supposed to be for the entire base. Like a Yahoo or MSN Group, except not so open.

4. I am most likely going to do more on this because it was so fun to write.

5. I had the initial idea to put a column in the newsletter titled, 'When Will Sam and Jack Get Together?' I would have so much fun writing this, I know it, but there is no way General Hammond would approve it.

6. Please REVIEW. I love getting reviews. They make me happy and they give me ideas.


	2. Subscriptions

Angel of the Fallen- Glad you liked it. Get some sleep. Thanks for the review. 

Nikki- A Stargate is a large ring made out of an alien metal. When used it opens a stable wormhole to other planets and people or objects can go through it. It's the entire basis of the stories under the Stargate Sg-1 category. I suggest trying to watch an episode. I would make a little more sense, or confuse you more, depending on the episode you see. Thanks for the review.

--I'm having trouble putting a line in here so pretend you see it--

"Hey Danny. What's up?" Jack asked as he entered the office of the base's archaeologist, Dr. Daniel Jackson.

"I'm checking my e-mail and trying to translate this artifact." Daniel answered, pointing to a circular slab on his desk.

"Speaking about e-mail. I got your e-mail about having a base newsletter today. I think that's a great idea. And it would be more reliable than the SGC grapevine." Jack told him, remembering why he had come.

"Jack, I sent that e-mail a week and a half ago. You got it today?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. I had to ask an SF to help me find my office. Then Major Carter helped me get into my e-mail." He answered.

"You have an office?" Daniel asked.

"Apparently." He answered. "It was really neat, but I had to dust. There was dust everywhere."

"It probably had to do with the fact that you've never been in there. I'm surprised the door worked." Daniel retorted.

"I'll let you get back to work. I have about 500 more e-mails to check. What does it mean when there is the word 'memo' before a number in the subject line?" Jack asked.

"The word 'memo' means the e-mail is a memo and the number is the date it was sent." Daniel answered, surprised. "You really have never checked your base e-mail?"

"I didn't even know I had an office let alone a computer and e-mail. And I wondered why I didn't get any of the memos." Jack finished. "Bye." And he turned and left.

Upon entering his office he looked around, then sat in his chair and looked at the computer. He looked at the total e-mail count and gasped. Since he had left to see Daniel the number of e-mails in his box had tripled. Apparently someone had resent the memos to him many times when he hadn't gotten to them. He picked up the phone and dialed the number to Sam's Lab, when she answered the phone on the other end he let out a sigh of relief.

"Major, I need some help. I have about 2000 e-mails on here and most of them are the same. Is there some way to organize them." He spoke into the phone.

"Colonel? Yeah, of course. Your in your office?" She asked from her lab.

"Yeah." He answered.

"I'll be there in a couple minutes, sir." She stated.

"Thank you, Major." He said before hanging up. He looked at the screen one more time and put his face in his hands. This was going to take a while.

He didn't lift his head until he heard a knock on his door. "Enter." He called to the knocker and Sam opened the door. She walked in and he got up to let her have the chair. "There are too many e-mails in there for me to read and most of them are duplicates." He complained, pointing at the computer.

"What do you want me to do, sir?" She asked.

"Can you delete duplicates so that I have only one of each e-mail and make a special folder or something for memos?" He asked her.

"Okay. I'll start with the memos." She said, sitting down. She typed on the computer for a while and clicked a whole bunch of things. Jack stood behind her and looked at the screen. The total in the Inbox had gone from 2000 to about a hundred. There was also a folder titled 'Memos.' It now held 1900 unread e-mails. Sam double-clicked on the 'Memos' folder and a new page showed up. It took forever to load. She then showed Jack how to look through the subjects. Her instructions were to find as many as he could with the same date. When he found them he would look through them and if the were the same he would read one and delete them all. Then move on to the next date.

"Thanks, Carter." He said looking up from the screen. She had moved to behind his screen and he had moved back to his chair.

"Call me again if you need help, sir." She told him and turned to the door.

"I will, Major." He responded and she left.

Jack spent the rest of the day sifting through his e-mail and by the end of the day his computer was much faster and he had sent some e-mails to Daniel and Sam.

--I'm having trouble putting a line in here so pretend you see it--

Daniel sat in his office. He had finished translating the artifact the had occupied his desk and sent it to be put in storage. It was 1700 now and he was checking his e-mail again. He looked at his Inbox. 15 new e-mails. He pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from the pile of mess on his desk and cleared a space next to his keyboard.

Half an hour later 

12 of the new e-mails had been more responses to the newsletter idea. He added the names to the list he had started when he sent the e-mail. A total of 53 people wanted to get the e-mail as of now. The other three e-mails were from Jack. He had cleared out his Inbox and gone through his memos and was learning to send e-mails.

E-mail checking was done. He quickly signed of and picked up his phone.

"General Hammond, please." He asked the secretary on the other line.

"Hammond."

"General Hammond. I have a list of people who want the newsletter and some ideas they've suggested. I was wondering if I could come down and run these things by you." He stated to the phone.

"I'm not busy, so why don't you come to my office now?" Hammond questioned.

"Okay. I'll be there in a minute." He said hanging up. He quickly gathered the papers he had been taking notes on. And rushed off to General Hammond's office. He stopped jogging when he saw the door and walked calmly to it. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Enter." General Hammond said from the other side of the door. Daniel walked quietly into the room and shut the door behind him.

"This is a list of people who have told me they would like the newsletter e-mailed to them." Daniel spoke confidently, while shuffling through his papers. He found the one he was looking for and handed it to the General.

Hammond looked the paper over and nodded. "Okay."

"These are some ideas that they had." Daniel said handing him another piece of paper.

Hammond read the paper and looked up. "This is all okay, except the Gag section. I have no problem with putting in jokes or something, but nothing to give people ideas. I have to deal with enough pranks from the people on this base without giving them any new ideas. I also have an idea. I think it would be beneficial to put in a section about new developments from the Science and Archaeology Departments. That way everyone can see what you guys do."

"I can deal with that. And I'm sure Sam can help me write the New Developments section. Anything else?" Daniel assured.

"Yes. Just a small thing though." George Hammond began. "I want you to find something Colonel O'Neill can do to work on this newsletter."

"Colonel _Jack_ O'Neill?" Daniel asked, surprised.

"The one and only, Dr. Jackson." Hammond stated. "When he gets bored he reeks havoc on my base. I need you to find something he can do on here to occupy him. Give a small column to write or something. Nothing too big and nothing that he can use the wrong way, to make more havoc."

"I'll try." Daniel said, thinking over the jobs he could give Jack. "Thank you for seeing me." He stood up and left, making his way back to his office. Finding a job for Jack was going to be hard.

--I'm having trouble putting a line in here so pretend you see it--

Author's Notes: I kinda sidetracked on this chapter with the computer and office thing, but I had so much fun writing it that I wanted to share it. I hope you don't mind.

Please review. I love reading them. And thanks for those who already have reviewed. I appreciate it.


	3. Colonel O'Neill?

Author's Note: This story has become more the writing of the newsletter and all the problems that go with it more than the newsletter itself. I hope no one minds. I will try to do both.

------Wake up your imagination. Here comes the story. Imagine away.------

The phoe rang in Major Samantha Carter's lab. She picked it up with an exasperated sigh, thinking it was Jack, again. He had called her five times now. How many problems could one person have with a computer?

"Carter."

"Hey Sam. It's me, Daniel. Can you come down to my office? I need your help."

"Yeah, sure Daniel. Is anything wrong?" Sam asked.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just need a little help. Nothing big."

"Sure. I can be there in a couple minutes. I need to finish somethings." She answered.

"Okay, thanks." He said, before hanging up the phone.

She spent 2 minutes saving her files and collecting more data from her experiment. She left her lab and locked the door behind her. She walked through the halls of the SGC, thinking as she walked about what Daniel could need help with.

Daniel's door was slightly ajar when she arrived. There were no loud noises coming from the room so she knocked on the door softly before pushing it open and walking in. Daniel was seated in his chair behind his desk. He looked away from his computer when he heard the knock.

"Hey Sam. Thanks for coming." Daniel said, rolling in his chair around his desk, after she had closed the door.

"No problem, what's up?" She inquired, again.

"Nothing's up. I told you that. I just need some help." Daniel explained.

"With what?" She asked.

"The newsletter. I spoke to General Hammond a few minutes ago. He wants m to put in a Scientific and Archaeological Advancements section in. I was hoping you could help with the scientific part." Daniel told her.

"Of course I will. You could have told me that on the phone though. Is there anything else you need?" Sam asked almost suspiciously.

Daniel looked guilty almost immediatly.

"What is it, Daniel? Did the General tell you something else?" She asked, grasping at straws, trying to find out what Daniel was trying to ask her.

"Yeah." He muttered. "General Hammond told that I had to find a job for Jack."

"Colonel O'Neill?" She asked.

"Yeah, the one and only apparently." Daniel answered sarcastically.

"Do you have any ideas?" She asked. This was going to be harder than she had thought.

"Not really, General Hammond said it had to be something that would keep him occupied so he couldn't cause any trouble, but something that he couldn't use to make more trouble." Daniel explained the General's rules.

"Smart man. This is going to be really hard. What do you have for the newsletter so far?" Sam asked.

"Betting pools, tentative mission schedules, injuries list, announcements and a gag section." Daniel repeated the sections from memory.

"What about the gag section? Could he work there?" Sam questioned.

"I don't think so. He has a wierd sense of humor. I don't think anyone who get it." Daniel thought out loud.

"So true. What about a sports section. Is there one of those?" Sam asked. Jack seemed to like sports.

"Hmm." Daniel said thinking it over. "He could put in scores for all the games on. I could teach him to find that stuff on the Internet so he doesn't have to watch every game of every sport on tv."

"Sounds good." Sam said. "I have to get back to my work. Call me when you need me to write that thing on the Science Department."

"Thanks Sam. I really needed you're help." Daniel thanked her.

"No problem." She said standing up. "See ya later."

"Yeah, bye. Good luck with your experiments."

"Thanks." She said as she left, heading in the direction of her lab.

------I can't add a line. Lines hate me. Sorry. Keep pretending, don't let you imagination die.------

Next Chapter: Daniel tells Jack. (Let us all take a moment to pity Daniel).


	4. Phones Ring

The phone in Colonel Jack O'Neill's office, newly found, rang. And rang and rang and rang and just kept ringing until the person on the other end gave up. The empty office had been locked since Jack had left to get a 'snack' in the commissary hours before. Of course, his caller didn't know that. How the caller even knew the number of his office was mystery. Jack himself didn't even know it. What was a caller to do, but try another number?

In the commissary, Jack pulled his cell out of his pocket.

"O'Neill." He said after pushing the button with the green phone on it to answer the call.

"Jack, it's Daniel. I tried calling your office, but your not there." Daniel's voice came through the phone.

"No, I'm not there." Jack answered sarcastically to the archaeologist who was interrupting his 'snack.'"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you. Could you come to my office?"

"This is Daniel, right. You're Hammond trying to trick me? Whatever you think I did, it wasn't me." Jack questioned.

"Jack, I swear this is Daniel." Daniel was chuckling on the other end.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, he knew he was talking to Daniel, but he was bored and wanted to play with Daniel for as long as he could.

"Yes Jack. I'm completely sure. Check the caller id on your phone." Jack could tell Daniel was trying not to laugh on the other end.

"555-6391. I don't know that's Daniel's number." Jack said, trying not to blow his cover by sounding too stupid. "I'm hanging up now. I'll call back once I've called my reliable source to make sure you're not trying to trick me."

Jack quickly hung up the phone and cleared off the tray he had his empty containers on. He put his cell back in his pocket and headed to Sam's lab.

He knocked on the lab door and opened it slowly, checking for signs of flying debris, exploding anything and any other experiment that could misfire and cause trouble.

"Carter? You here?" Jack asked, after assessing the coast was clear. He couldn't see her anywhere, but it was her lab and she knew it better than him.

"Yes, sir." He heard a voice mumble from a corner. He walked to where he thought the voice was and saw Sam sitting in a corner with a notebook in her lap.

"Hey Carter. Whatcha doin'?" He asked with a small smile.

She quickly shut her notebook and rested her arms on it. "I was taking some notes, sir." She answered while standing up so she could regain her respect as an officer. "Why do you ask?"

"Daniel called and said he wanted to talk to me." He started. "Do you know what he wants?"

"Yes, sir. It's about the newsletter." She explained, being purposefully vague.

"Oh, I..." He started, but was cut off by the ringing of the Lab's phone. "Oh fer crying out loud." He muttered as Sam walked by him to the phone.

"Carter." She answered after picking up the offending phone.

"Oh. Hey Daniel.." She listened for a couple seconds. "Yeah, he's here." She paused to listen again. "Yeah, I'll tell him. Yeah, Daniel, bye."

She hung up the phone and turned to her CO. "Colonel, Daniel still wants to talk to you. He wants you to go to his office."

"Okay." He half whined and walked out the door to Daniel's office.

He walked down the halls and only stopped when he was in front of Daniel's door. He knocked on the door and then stepped inside without waiting for answer.

"You wanted to see me, almighty archaeologist." He said sarcastically after closing the door.

"Yeah, I did, Jack. Did you call your reliable source to make sure it was me who called Sam too?" Daniel asked, a note of sarcasm on his voice as well.

"Ha ha, Daniel. What do you want?"

"I went to see General Hammond about the newsletter I'm going to write. He had some ideas. One of his 'ideas' was that you should have a part in writing it." Daniel explained carefully.

"So...it's just an idea." Jack responded.

"Okay. Actually it wasn't an idea. I have to give you a part in this newsletter for General Hammond to approve it."

"I'm not liking this Daniel. What do you have in mind?"

"I was going to have you find and type up the scores for sports games." Daniel said.

"I have to what? Wait, sports? And I can do this on work time?" Jack asked sceptically.

"Yeah. That's it." Daniel stated.

"Cool. I can do that. For what sport?"

"I don't know. Hockey, football, baseball. I don't think there are many golf fans on base."

"Okay. Tell me when you need it by and I can do that." Jack said.

"Okay."

Jack left Daniel's office in what was almost good mood. Hockey; very good. Football; okay. Baseball; a little on the boring side, but it's just the scores.

------See the line. Fake the line. Please pretend the line is here. If not for you then for me.------ 


	5. First Issue

Sorry it's been so long. I've been working on some other stories.

I can't remember which reviews I've responded. I know the one that I answered in the second chapter and a couple I answered by e-mail. Here are the rest. If I've already answered you, then two responses are better than one.

_Chicky_-I'm glad you like it. Please don't die.

_Angel of the Fallen_-Sorry about the snowstorm. Glad I could make your day.

_Quick-demon_-Thank you.

_Time's Whisper_-I hope you liked it.

_Pagan Twylight_-I like to know it all too. I don't think it would come out right if I cut the chase.

_Angel of the Fallen_-I'd like to write something where Jack has to write something completely ridiculous.

_Eris_-Not exactly a column, but I hope it works.

_Stargazer89_-I don't think so. And I think Janet could do an injuries list, if I put that in, or Daniel. Daniel in there more often isn't he? Maybe not.

_Cherryblossomjen_-I think it would be extremely humorous.

_Blackfire_-I do too. Thank You!

_Risa414_-Thank you very much.

_Lilad_-Thanks!

_Angel of the Fallen_-Just keep sleeping.

------Wake up your imagination by imagining this line.------

Two weeks after talking with Jack about his part in the newsletter Daniel was finally putting together the first issue of the newsletter. He had the whole thing laid out in his mind. Sam had given him her write up about scientific advancements. His write up for the archaeological finds had been written also. Even Jack had handed in the most updated scores for the games of the past week. All he had to do was put it all together. This seemingly small task was taking an increasingly longer time to do. Who knew Microsoft programs could be so confusing? In the end he resolved to pack up all his information and see an expert.

And so he walked purposefully through the underground halls of the SGC to the Lab of one Samantha Carter.

The door was partially open when he arrived so he knocked softly and walked in.

"Hey Sam." He said, calling to his teammate.

"Daniel?" He heard a voice call from the other side of the room.

"Sam?" He called. She stood up on the other side of the room and brushed off. "What were you doing?" He asked curiously.

"I was brainstorming." She answered vaguely.

"On the floor?" He pushed.

"Yeah. I just felt like being on the floor." She answered. "Did you need something?"

"Yes actually. I have all this information for the newsletter, but I don't know how to use a program to put it all together. I was wondering if you could help me."

"Sure. I can help you put it together." Sam said. "Show me what you have." He pulled all the files out of his folder and put them on an empty space on one of her tables.

"I have Science, Archaeological and Medical Advancements over here." He said pointing to a small pile. "Sports scores and betting pools." He said pointing to another pile. "Mission Schedules and Announcements over here." He pointed to a pile a little bigger than the others.

"Okay, so, why don't you lay all the parts out where you want them." Sam instructed.

Daniel got quickly got to work organizing the papers into columns. Sam walked over to one of her running experiments and recorded the results and the time.

"I've got it all sorted except for this." He said, holding a piece of paper.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"It's column Jack wrote." Daniel said handing her the paper.

"About what?" She asked reading the title of the paper: 'The Effect of Paperwork on Officers and the Environment.'

"Paperwork." Daniel stated. "He wrote an entire column about the Effect of Paperwork."

"Okay." Sam commented. "Maybe you could have him do short column in addition to the sports scores. It could be on things like paperwork."

"Sounds good. For now lets put this one together."

They spent the next hour typing the articles and arranging them to make it look like a newsletter.

"Wow!" Daniel said, looking at the finished product on Sam's computer screen. "That looks great." They had added pictures and borders to the newsletter to make it look better.

"All you have to do is send it now, right?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah. I have the list of people who want it over here." He answered pointing to another sheet of paper.

"We can send it from here." Sam said.

"Okay." He said. He walked to the table and grabbed the paper. They sat down in front of the computer.

Half an hour later the newsletter had been sent to everybody on Daniel's list.

"Thanks for the help Sam." Daniel said, picking up his papers.

"No problem Daniel." She said, saving again and closing out of the program they had been using. "Anytime."

"Well." He started. "I'll let you get back to work." Then he left leaving the door partially open, as it had been when he got there. He walked the underground hallways to his office and sat down at his desk.

"Oh man." He mumbled as he looked at his desk. All the artifacts that had been brought from off-world that week were scattered across the surface of his desk. He hadn't started translating most of them and the ones he had were mostly decorative. The artifacts he had started translating were purely decorative pieces. They had nothing important to tell and were almost a waste of time to work on.

Daniel was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on his office door.

"Come in." He said and watched as the door opened and Jack walked into his cluttered office.

"Hey Danny." Jack said, closing the door behind him.

"Hi Jack." Daniel greeted. "Do you need something?"

"No, not really. I'm just bored." Jack stated sitting down in a chair and snatching one of Daniel's artifacts off of his desk.

"Sam and I just sent out the newsletter." Daniel suggested. "You could read that."

"I already have." Jack said plainly, looking over the artifact.

"You have?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. I was checking my e-mail when you sent it so I read it and now I'm bored." Jack answered. "Why?"

"No reason." Daniel said.

"What is this?" Jack asked Daniel about the artifact he was holding.

"I don't really know yet. The writing on it looks like nothing I've ever seen before." Daniel explained. "Maybe just alien."

"It's not." Jack stated. "This is like the writing from the time loop planet. This line here…" He started pointing to a line. "…means, um, 'failed attempt.'"

"Really?" Daniel questioned.

"I think so." Jack answered handing the artifact to Daniel. "I'm going to go to the commissary for some food. Wanna come?"

"I can't I have a lot of work to do. I'll stop by later." Daniel explained.

"Okay." Jack said, standing up. "See ya." And with that he let the office.

Daniel spent the rest of the week translating the artifacts that cluttered his desk and yet it never seemed to get 'uncluttered'.


	6. Loose Ends

Author's Note: I know a lot of people want to see a copy of what the newsletter would look like. I'm not going to write one and there are a couple of reasons why.

Sam's science section and Daniel's archaeology and culture sections would be way over my head and would take too much time to write.

A layout that would look good for the newsletter would not look the same on and would take me too much time and too many brain cells to figure out.

I'm really sorry. Also, this is the last chapter. I'm trying to finish all my WIP's. If you check my profile you'll find that more than half of my stories fall into this category.

And now…**The SGC Newsletter Chapter 6: Loose Ends**

After spending many all-nighters at his desk to finish up his translations, Dr. Daniel Jackson was finally caught up. The artifact Jack had been looking at a week or so ago was completely translated. It was supposed to do something, but as Jack had said, it spoke of a failed attempt. It was in fact just a paperweight. Though Jack had been right about that small translation.

He walked down the halls to the office of one, Major General George Hammond, the base commander and the man that told him if he could do the newsletter again.

He stopped at the man's office door and knocked. He heard the command to enter and did so.

"General Hammond. I wanted to talk to you about the newsletter. If you're not busy that is." Daniel said respectfully. Though not usually a person that cared if someone else was busy or not, he knew that this man did a lot for the base and should be treated kindly. And he was in a good mood today.

"Of course, Dr. Jackson." General Hammond said. "Have a seat." Daniel sat down in the chair facing the General's desk.

"I wanted to know if you decided about a next issue of the newsletter." Daniel asked.

"I have thought this over a lot this week. There was a lot of positive feedback about it from officers and civilians working in the SGC." General Hammond began. "So, I think that as long all the same rules apply to the next one as did the first then we will have no problem. This means that Colonel O'Neill needs to do something again."

"Sure." Daniel said, stunned that people had liked the newsletter. "No problem. I'll let you get back to work." He stood up and walked to the door.

His hand was on the know when the General spoke up again. "I especially liked the article on the effects of paperwork." Daniel turned to face him.

"That was Jack's." Daniel stated.

"It was great writing. I expect more of his reports to be like that." Hammond told him. Daniel left the room chuckling a little under his breath.

'Note to self: Avoid Jack after Hammond tells him that.'

* * *

THE END. I hope that tied up any loose ends. I will write no more on this.

Please review.


End file.
